21 thoughts that go through your head before ordering food
Ordering food can be a life altering decision that you get to experience time and time again. You know that rush you get when your brain and your belly align thoughts and you know exactly what you need to make your day worthwhile. We all go through an elaborate (at times pretty basic) narrative when it comes to ordering. It’s human. We are humans. We think you’ll relate.
- I’m not actually hungry but I want food.
- Map out the situation: recount what’s left in fridge.
- I can literally eat all the food.
- Should probably have at least one vegetable.
- If I order I don’t have to peel anything. Or chop anything.
- I ordered yesterday. What if I get the same rider?
- Are they judging me?
- FINE JUDGE ME. I’m ordering.
- Must remember to request no coriander. Very important.
- If they put coriander on top, I will [INSERT FUNNY THING]
- I could literally eat on every continent tonight.
- This is harder than choosing what to watch on Netflix.
- Falafel salad place? Again? That blue cheese sauce is calling my name.
- Maybe something new today. That organic mozzarella place?
- But must be safe to eat. No risks tonight please.
- Ooh, bibimbap! I’ve heard that’s good.
- Yeah okay, falafel salad it is.
- Done. Best decision ever. Hashtag winning.
- Scroll #foodporn on instagram
- Would literally die for this food.
- I love food.
We’re all basically the same person these days, but don’t assume that detracts from your excellence as an individual. Eating etiquette has eternally been a topic of conversation and in ordering delicious salads and pho and burgers and all other imaginable tasty things, etiquette hasn’t been avoided. Lie down and eat.